2005 CheeseburgerBrown Reading Guide

Due in large part to the overwhelming success of my lark-blog, The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster, I have received several hundred e-mails over the past few weeks asking for more examples of my creative typing. In response I have decided to boil down some of my recent output into a handy cross-genre reading guide, so that the uninitiated might browse according to their interests. Without further ado, then:

Two Moments of Invention
A science-fiction short story taking place in a near-future in which the interconnectedness and omnipresence of communications media have created a culture of shameless voyeurism, enforced trust, and no secrets. This story was the winner of the infamous and never to be repeated Fiction Challenge held on Kuro5hin in 2003.

Hot Dog: A Frank Story
If non-fiction is more your taste why not sample my irreverent history of the frankfurter, from Homer to Oscar Mayer, covering such divisive issues as who coined the term "hot dog", who standardized the milk-bun, and whether or not the Roman Empire banned them on account of their phallic resemblance. (See also my histories of cheeseburgers and poutine.)

The Trimester Reports
If you are a parent, an expectant parent or a reluctant parent, check out my first-hand reports from the trenches of fatherhood, detailing the conception, expectoration and subsequent raising of my young daughter, Ingrid. The most recently issued report describes her entry into the world of "the terrible twos." if you think the entire subject is duller than nails, bear in mind this is a CheeseburgerBrown take on the affair and the tone is unique.

Traffic Zoology
My massively popular introduction into the world of multi-car emergent zoomorphia, published in the anthology Traffic Life (Stephen Wehner, Ed.) and excerpted in Who Let The Blogs Out? by Blogger's own Biz Stone. This is a dense and fanciful overview of automotive self-organization.

Lonely Cowboys
Short attention span? Low-brow taste? This short story is for you.

What Art Is
An essay on the true nature of fine art. In contrast to most offerings on the subject, this piece has been specifically designed to avoid nauseating the audience.

The Sweet Funk of Revenge
A true story from life detailing a series of humorous encounters with a crazed Mediterranean man who used to throw gobs of shit at my window.

Lipgloss Gypsy
Another true story from life, this time detailing how I once shacked up in Montreal with a drug-crazed nymphomaniac Gypsy-girl.

Ode to Littlestar
This is the true story of how I met and wed my wonderful wife.

Wile
Another example of fanfic writing, this is the unauthorized biography of Wile E. Coyote, detailing his eventual conquest of the Road-Runner and his subsequent spiral into self-destruction until being saved by finding religion. (I know it sounds stupid but it's very popular, so there must be something to it.)

Weird Flotsam
To conclude, one more science-fiction short story, this time set in a distant future in which the nature of human physiology has changed to the point where it is hard for people to understand how they might have been related to people like us.

If you enjoy what you read here today, please pass it on: link me up. Also, I always enjoy hearing feedback from readers, complimentary or damning, so don't hesitate to write to me if you want to chew the fat. Finally, if you would like to directly support the further creation of work like this, buy a copy of my new storybook 17 Drawings now available through Lulu, or click on the PayPal donation button in the right-hand column of this page.

Thank you for your readership. Rock on, world.